when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
