just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
