this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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