im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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