my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
