we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
