I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
