So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
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I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
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We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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