it was like his penis was on wheels.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
