Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
