also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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