the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
