Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
