Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
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I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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