Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
