Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
