They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
