Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
