Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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