K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
It was confusing and full of hummus
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
there is glitter all over my balls
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