Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
