i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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