no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
