I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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