she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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