i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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