I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay