this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
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wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
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Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.