The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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