i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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