wat bout pragnant strippers??
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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