Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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