That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
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All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
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And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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