Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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