He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
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there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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