Having a random hookup so left but love u
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
