dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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