have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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