Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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