On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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