so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
