addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
