the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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