Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
