okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
