Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
