Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
