is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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