What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
