there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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