I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
