Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
