Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
