If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We are all done wearing pants today
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