this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Randomize
