So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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