from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
