you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
