Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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