I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
