I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
