I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
