omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
