as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
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remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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