Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize