Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
