Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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