Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry dicktracie hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I don't remember. Are we still dating?

Fav 21 1566 5738
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt

Fav 7 2478 1511
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.

Fav 10 2079 1319
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous

Fav 5 846 2192
share tweet
(316): View more from Kansas

Listen to me plotting my whoredom.

Fav 3 1761 764
share tweet
(919): View more from North Carolina

Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.

Fav 10 996 655
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.

Fav 2 1348 610
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(218): View more from Minnesota

You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.

Fav 0 51 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.

Fav 0 136 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT