The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize