i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You took a bar mat shot.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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