I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
