Barsexuality is the new black.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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