As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
