I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
